lolpussiez

found this on gizmodo, thought it was lolpussiez, decided to post it here. i’m a pussy burglar.

awesome!

c-ad-illac

i’m going to pretend like there hasn’t been a huge hiatus for postings since school started and just jump right back into it.

i was watching discovery atlas on dhdt and it was the episode on modern china. i had seen something similar to this, only a montage set to music at a costco once while perusing through the hdtv section. ever since then i’ve been trying to hunt down that demo, with little luck and while i don’t believe this discovery special was what i was watching, it fills the role well enough for me to feel like i’ve brought democracy to iraq. mission accomplished, boys. anyways, i must say that documentary was absolutely fantasmigorical, scrumtrelescent even. totally on par with the planet earth series. adding to the generous enlightening of the show was a notable new ad campaign by cadillac for the 2008 cts which i found extremely appealing and effective. because i can’t post a youtube vid of the entire atlas: china revealed special, i’ll just leave that to you to investigate, but the new cadillac ad i can post, and i will explain what makes it so good.

first off, yes, that is kate walsh, whose career i find absolutely detestable. grey’s anatomy sucks my testicles with the kind of force that jim dyson dreams about at night. and after watching this ad, i find myself fantasizing about ms. walsh doing the same. nothing helps to pop a tent like the idea of degrading a successful woman with loads of cash and dignity but who is actually a huge slut begging to get stuffed like the t-day turkey you all wolfed down recently. anyways, before i have to start paying you for the hour, allow me to continue on with why this ad is so good.

first of all, the grey’s anatomy audience is a crowd of impressionable materialistic go-getters who care a great deal about self-image and reputation. they’re the kind of people who want other people to look at them and say, ‘damn, i wish i were/fucking him/her,’ and though few clearly look the part, many are willing to shill the dinero needed to play it. this means italian shoes, fancy cars, 3-figure haircuts, etc. also see nip/tuck. furthermore, kate walsh is the perfect age to hook the demographic cadillac should be targetting. nobody who relates themselves with hayden panettiere has enough dough to afford a luxury sports cars. kate is just the right age to harden those viagra popping business men while also being classy enough to draw the non-hostile envy of 30-something women all over america. hell, even i find her alluring in the ad. one might even say that she ‘turns my key’. yuck yuck.

there also happens to be a second variation of the ad, in which b-movie actor, matthew mcwannabe aka martin henderson, does the driving, while pitching a nice little speech about hindering individuality. now, martin henderson is probably best known for his role in the britney spears video for toxic. that being said, the age group this ad is targeting probably doesn’t recognize him or realize how pathetic his career is. all they see is a good-looking guy talking some big talk about beating hippies. unfortunately, this version is so unpopular that youtube does not have a video for it at the time. i will however explain the best part of this ad. part of the narration includes a line that goes something like this: ‘you could follow the philosophy that a nail that sticks out gets hammered; or you could be the hammer.’ this is a real knock-out punch, because it not only equates the cts with having individuality, but it equates it with having so much individuality, that it stifles the individuality of others, and of course that is the underlying dream of any rich businessman.

in conclusion, i wish to say good job modernista, the ad agency that handled this campaign. you guys did an unbelievable job at selling the cts. also, please give me a job.

who’s been a naughty doctor?  that’s right, bitch, you have.  now bend over so i can give you your shot.