charity from music

few people realize this, but a guitar can double as a splint, a stretcher (for babies), or a fire axe, all of which can be used to save lives. however, if you prefer to keep your guitar for use as a chick magnet, you can also help save lives by clicking on the above link and donating to the music for relief program. check it out and feel good about yourselves. (also, chicks love charity)

hey sarge, where are we?

like many a trigger happy youths, i have recently taken to playing call of duty 4: modern warfare with a zeal normally reserved only for the most vital of functions, like breathing or using the bathroom. indeed, the game is a masterpiece within the fps genre. however, as anyone who’s played through the campaign knows, the backdrop of the story is somewhat vague, particularly the segments unfolding in the middle east. if you have politically invested friends like me, you will inevitably have heard one ask, “what country is this in?” to which you answer in one of two ways. first, as an ignorant american you might be inclined to say, “iraq, duh”. you’d be wrong…sorta. a more appropriate answer would be, various undisclosed middle eastern regions. to better educate the public and make it more clear as to which nations this video game has deemed imminent threats to american safety, i have taken the liberty of comparing the mapped locations indicated in the loading sequences with an actual political map to finally settle once and for all where cod4 is taking place. the results are as follows.

the coup/the bog/war pig: saudi arabia

charlie don’t surf: kuwait

shock and awe: iraq/iran (border)

so there you have it. saudi arabia, kuwait, iraq, and iran will all soon be diversionary theaters of war to mask an ultranationalist russian plot to reclaim the motherland. now when your friends ask where the game is taking place, you can start rehearsing the state dept. travel warning list. then, when they ask how it is that all these countries are under one rule, you can tell them its just a game. a blood-soaked, ultra-violent, arab-massacring game. hoorah!