okay, okay; it’s not just wine. if this stanford/cit study proves right, it could mean the end of objective comparisons in many categories. it’s just that wine connoisseurs always seem like such asses, so why not pick on them? anyways, for those people who think a fine palette for fermented grape juice lends some amount of refined dignity to your character, let me be perfectly clear that you are a tool.
“Researchers from the California Institute of Technology and Stanford’s business school have directly seen that the sensation of pleasantness that people experience when tasting wine is linked directly to its price. And that’s true even when, unbeknownst to the test subjects, it’s exactly the same Cabernet Sauvignon with a dramatically different price tag.”
your brain is simply tasting what it wants based on expectations. so, all those stupid classes you took in napa valley were for naught. it was actually just a huge scam to part a fool from his money, and it taught you a meaningless lesson that covered up a very basic and simple idea; the more you pay, the more you enjoy.
to anyone hoping to become a wine aficionado, i would strongly suggest curbing that urge. of course, there are those people who are just such huge tool sheds that no amount of self control will prevent them from indulging in every superficial avenue of ego stroking and opportunity to be a smug bastard. to those people, i would like to announce that we are on to you. your worthlessness is beyond repair and no matter what you do, people will see you for how meaningless your existence is.
well, this was a surprise. if anyone has seen the recent lexus ad for the rx350 pebble beach edition, it features this gorgeous electronica track which i decided to search out. after a very brief search, i came across the band faded paper figures who supposedly wrote the song used in the commercial. i then looked up this indie electronica band and lo and behold, they were marvelous. it was like sensual love making in my ear, the kind that makes you tear with joy and not feel like you have to blame it on dust. they sound very much like the postal service which is a fantastic compliment. anyways, i just wanted to say how much i loved these guys. as soon as i find out how, i’m going to buy an album, even though they put all there songs out for free on myspace.com. these guys deserve money for their art and i am more than happy to deliver. fantastic. here’s the ad i first heard them in.
i’m going to pretend like there hasn’t been a huge hiatus for postings since school started and just jump right back into it.
i was watching discovery atlas on dhdt and it was the episode on modern china. i had seen something similar to this, only a montage set to music at a costco once while perusing through the hdtv section. ever since then i’ve been trying to hunt down that demo, with little luck and while i don’t believe this discovery special was what i was watching, it fills the role well enough for me to feel like i’ve brought democracy to iraq. mission accomplished, boys. anyways, i must say that documentary was absolutely fantasmigorical, scrumtrelescent even. totally on par with the planet earth series. adding to the generous enlightening of the show was a notable new ad campaign by cadillac for the 2008 cts which i found extremely appealing and effective. because i can’t post a youtube vid of the entire atlas: china revealed special, i’ll just leave that to you to investigate, but the new cadillac ad i can post, and i will explain what makes it so good.
first off, yes, that is kate walsh, whose career i find absolutely detestable. grey’s anatomy sucks my testicles with the kind of force that jim dyson dreams about at night. and after watching this ad, i find myself fantasizing about ms. walsh doing the same. nothing helps to pop a tent like the idea of degrading a successful woman with loads of cash and dignity but who is actually a huge slut begging to get stuffed like the t-day turkey you all wolfed down recently. anyways, before i have to start paying you for the hour, allow me to continue on with why this ad is so good.
first of all, the grey’s anatomy audience is a crowd of impressionable materialistic go-getters who care a great deal about self-image and reputation. they’re the kind of people who want other people to look at them and say, ‘damn, i wish i were/fucking him/her,’ and though few clearly look the part, many are willing to shill the dinero needed to play it. this means italian shoes, fancy cars, 3-figure haircuts, etc. also see nip/tuck. furthermore, kate walsh is the perfect age to hook the demographic cadillac should be targetting. nobody who relates themselves with hayden panettiere has enough dough to afford a luxury sports cars. kate is just the right age to harden those viagra popping business men while also being classy enough to draw the non-hostile envy of 30-something women all over america. hell, even i find her alluring in the ad. one might even say that she ‘turns my key’. yuck yuck.
there also happens to be a second variation of the ad, in which b-movie actor, matthew mcwannabe aka martin henderson, does the driving, while pitching a nice little speech about hindering individuality. now, martin henderson is probably best known for his role in the britney spears video for toxic. that being said, the age group this ad is targeting probably doesn’t recognize him or realize how pathetic his career is. all they see is a good-looking guy talking some big talk about beating hippies. unfortunately, this version is so unpopular that youtube does not have a video for it at the time. i will however explain the best part of this ad. part of the narration includes a line that goes something like this: ‘you could follow the philosophy that a nail that sticks out gets hammered; or you could be the hammer.’ this is a real knock-out punch, because it not only equates the cts with having individuality, but it equates it with having so much individuality, that it stifles the individuality of others, and of course that is the underlying dream of any rich businessman.
in conclusion, i wish to say good job modernista, the ad agency that handled this campaign. you guys did an unbelievable job at selling the cts. also, please give me a job.
who’s been a naughty doctor? that’s right, bitch, you have. now bend over so i can give you your shot.
